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Scripture
Matthew 6:25-34
Do Not Worry
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ Or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Devotional
On an incredibly belated honeymoon and one year anniversary trip my husband and I traveled to Hawaii. We used our flight “points” from canceling the flights to our out-of-state wedding when Covid hit to get there, and used our original Honeymoon itinerary as inspiration. We took a leap of faith that our Covid tests would come back negative within 24 hours of our non-refundable flights, and prayed that God would bless us with our trip.
For weeks we prayed that God would bless us by allowing us to even just go on the trip. We were tired from fighting over my health for the past several years, tired of only going to doctors appointments, and tired of not knowing how to enjoy each other anymore. It wasn’t that we didn’t like to be around each other - more that we had only been able to focus on health for so long, that we weren’t sure how to have fun anymore. When my accident happened, I not only lost myself, but I lost the ability to do everything that I had loved to do - including the things that we had loved to do together.
And so we prayed for God’s blessing, that somehow we would be able to go, and somehow we would make new and happy memories together.
In hindsight, the prayers we made were small in comparison to the blessings God poured out on us during our trip. We prayed small, asking for the mere ability to go and to enjoy it despite health. What He gave us was the world in comparison.
Not only did we get to go on our trip, but He so obviously provided for us every step of the way. After having ticket problems at the airport and having to start the check in process over again, He helped us catch our flight just in the nick of time.
On our five hour layover, an event we both knew was going to be a huge symptom trigger for me thanks to the hustle and bustle of the airport, He provided a lounge through one of my husband’s credit cards where we could rest. Instead of sitting, unable to do anything as my symptoms peaked in the busy environment, we got to rest in a quieter location with good food and good drink.
He kept us traveling safely as we hopped from airplane to airplane to get to our final destination. When we landed, He provided a beautiful off-the-grid cabin for us to stay at. He provided stars that looked close enough to touch, warmth and food to hold us over till morning.
And friends, that was just the beginning of His blessings during our trip.
While we had prayed that my symptoms wouldn’t keep me in the hotel the entire time, He answered, by taking them away.
Get that. After almost three years of feeling horrible day in and day out, regardless of what treatments we went through and what doctors we saw, I was actually symptom free. And friends because of His blessing, I could move again.
We hiked to endless waterfalls and hidden beaches and snorkeled for hours. One day we even ocean-kayaked ten miles before taking a 3 mile jungle hike an hour later.
Can you even imagine that? I almost have a hard time believing it myself.
I went from not being able to do ten butt-crunches, or raising my arms above my head five times while laying down, to doing more than I probably could have done before my accident.
How good are God’s blessings?
We didn’t just make it by avoiding symptoms, we truly lived. We experienced God’s creations, we experienced joy, we experienced letting go and trusting God to provide for us each step of the way. And friends, within our trust, He blessed us so well.
When we came back from our trip though, I experienced what felt like the exact opposite. Almost instantly after our first flight home landed, I felt the symptoms jump back from nowhere. For two weeks, I slowly felt the weight of my symptoms descending back on me and I was devastated.
For days I clung to the memory of how well God had blessed me. I held onto the hope that it was possible to feel alive again. And then, the day I knew that was going to happen before we even left Hawaii, hit.
I was overwhelmed with the pain, the inability to leave my bed, the loss of the ability to live the wonderful life we had experienced for such a short period of time. Instead of holding onto the promise of the trip we had been given, I gave into the fear. All of the sudden I was questioning everything. I had no idea where my life was going, what I was supposed to do, or how to be okay with feeling horrible after learning that I could actually be okay.
In that moment, with my anxieties tightening a lasso around my neck, I stopped trusting in God to provide and looked back for ways I could provide for myself. And when I stopped trusting that God was still providing, still blessing, even among the symptoms, everything disappeared.
Overnight, I lost everything I had held onto for being okay. I lost my Physical Therapists and Doctors due to an insurance change. I had to drop out of my prerequisite classes... again. I lost the potential part-time job that I had been told was basically guaranteed. I lost the horse back riding lessons I had set up for myself to help me exercise in an accessible way. I even lost my Bible Study group when all of the sudden the leader decided we wouldn’t meet anymore.
I went from experiencing life again to suddenly feeling like I had nothing left. In that moment, instead of thanking God for the blessing of our trip, I questioned why He blessed us in the first place, if He was going to take it all away.
Can you imagine? Going from so immensely grateful for God’s blessings that I was freely and blindly following him in joy; to questioning why he bothered to bless me in the first place. Amidst my pain and sorrow of losing such a beautiful gift, I stopped seeing the trip as a gift, and saw it as a punishment.
Friends, I wish I could tell you that I came to my senses and everything got better after that moment, but it didn’t. For the next few weeks, everything seemed to continuously fall downhill. Every single time I thought I found a lifeline to give me hope of living again, I was blindsided and lost it.
One night as I was sitting in the full rage of my anger over the situations I had been asked to face, Matthew 6:28-30 drifted into my mind.
See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
I was convicted. While I was being blindsided by my rage, I was missing the ways God was still providing and dare I say, still openly blessing.
While I was screaming internally at Him and everyone else that I felt had stripped my joy away, He was still loving me all the same. He turned a horrible situation into a way for my husband and I to practice intentional communication with each other. Through a frustrating conversation with a relative, He pushed me to fight for my classes and enroll in them again - even if it meant starting late. He kept the roof of our home over our heads, provided a bounty of food and warm days to take slow and careful walks in.
Every day since then, I’ve tried to set aside my anxieties, my anger and my fears. To look past the darkness trying to capture me, and see where God is still actively present in my life. Some days, I can only see him in the small things; forcing myself to remember that our home, our dog, the very food we eat is an immense blessing in and of itself. I hold onto the small blessings, forcing myself to remember, so that one day, when darkness accepts its defeat and rolls away, I can see the incredible blessing of God’s path.
I’m not perfect. I’m sure as I navigate this minefield I’ve been placed in I will face fear and anger over and over again. But I also remember now that I can look up, I can see the crows by our home quietly watching their nest from afar, and remember that my God is looking over me all the more so.
Be encouraged this week friends. Be encouraged that even in the darkest moments, even in the moment’s where fear or anger seems to be eating us alive, God is still active in our lives.
Anywhere you look, you can see a small action portraying His goodness. And friend, if He cares so well for the birds, if He adorns the flowers beautifully, will He not care for you even more so?
Reflection
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When God blessed my husband and I on our anniversary-honeymoon trip, I was so overwhelmed by His goodness and obvious provision, that I was able to let go of control. For the first time in years I truly practiced letting go of myself and trusting that God would provide in His own way and time.
When was a moment where you came close, or were able to fully hand over control to your God?
Use an artistic median of your choice (story, poem, picture, comic strip, etc) to recount the beautiful moment where you were able to intimately draw near to God.
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Even though God’s blessings were fresh in my mind, I started to lose my faith in His plan and ability to provide when life started to get hard again. I was able to trust God when I saw his provision in bounty, but when I felt hurt and scared, I turned towards my trust in myself.
Thinking of the moment you previously artistically articulated, why did you stop fully trusting God’s provision?
Did you make a conscious decision to stop relying on God or did you realize it after the fact?
Using the artistic median of your choice, add this departure from trust to your story.
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What can you learn about your faith and how you approach God’s promises from the moments you were able to trust God, and the moments you pulled away?
Add this lesson to the artistic retelling of your faith that we have slowly been building on this month.
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Make a list and share five ways that God has blessed you today.
They don’t have to be big blessings if you aren’t in a spot to see them yet. It can be as simple as being grateful that you had food to eat, enjoying a flower outside or being strong enough to smile at a loved one.
We can slowly open our eyes to see God’s greater blessings by realizing all of the small, yet tremendous, blessings He fills us with each and every day.
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Since our trip to Hawaii, I’ve had to actively remind myself to acknowledge when I’m feeling anxious and to verbally entrust my fears and anxieties to my God. This isn’t an easy release, but it’s one that I have to practice because I know that our God doesn’t call us to live in fear.
Brainstorm ways you can remind yourself to hand over your trials, fears, anxieties and anger rather than hoarding them for yourself.
Put a star by your favorite one and try implementing it this month when things get hard.
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Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Even amidst the darkest moments of our life, you love us so well. Even when we are blind to the light flooding around us, you love us so well. Even when we scream out at you in pain and in anger, you love us so well.
Even when we wonder why we love you and choose you, you still choose us and love us well.
You are a good and merciful God. A God who meets us where we are at and holds onto us even when we don’t know who to hold onto ourselves. You provide for your children, and even more so than that, you bless your children.
Lord, I ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness for the anger I felt towards you for an incredible blessing you saw fit to give me. I ask for forgiveness for my brothers and sisters who in their own confusion, pain and fear, have also wondered why you would bless us if we had to lose that very blessing. We know Lord that anything you give you can take away. Let us be reminded that if we accept your goodness with joy, we must also joyfully accept the things that are taken away. Forgive us Lord for being blind to your continued goodness when we face hurt and uncertainty.
I pray that we will be a people who trust in you on the mountain highs and in the valley lows. A people who can see your active blessings and provision in our day to day lives. A people who can blindly, freely and joyfully follow you even when we don’t see a way back to joy again.
We love you Lord and we need you so deeply. Thank you for loving us, for choosing us, for caring for us.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit,
Amen